How Do You Send Flowers to a Funeral, and Why Do We Associate Roses with Eternal Sleep?

Sending flowers to a funeral is a timeless tradition that transcends cultures and generations. It is a gesture of sympathy, respect, and love for the deceased and their grieving family. But how exactly does one go about sending flowers to a funeral? And why do roses, in particular, seem to hold such a profound connection to the concept of eternal sleep? This article explores the intricacies of funeral flower etiquette, the symbolism behind floral choices, and the deeper cultural meanings that intertwine life, death, and nature.

The Process of Sending Flowers to a Funeral

1. Choosing the Right Florist

When sending flowers to a funeral, the first step is to select a reputable florist. Many florists specialize in funeral arrangements and understand the sensitivities involved. It’s essential to choose a florist who can deliver on time and provide high-quality blooms that convey your message of condolence.

2. Selecting the Appropriate Arrangement

Funeral flowers come in various forms, each serving a specific purpose:

• Wreaths: Circular in shape, symbolizing eternal life, wreaths are often placed on stands near the casket.
• Sprays: These are large, flat arrangements typically displayed on the casket or near it.
• Baskets: A more informal option, baskets can be placed on tables or the floor.
• Standing Sprays: These are tall arrangements placed on easels, often used to frame the casket.
• Personal Tributes: Smaller arrangements, such as bouquets or single stems, can be sent to the family’s home.

3. Timing the Delivery

Timing is crucial when sending funeral flowers. Ideally, the flowers should arrive at the funeral home or service location before the ceremony begins. Most florists recommend placing the order at least 24-48 hours in advance to ensure timely delivery.

4. Including a Sympathy Card

A sympathy card is an essential accompaniment to funeral flowers. It allows you to express your condolences in words, offering comfort to the bereaved. Keep the message brief but heartfelt, focusing on your relationship with the deceased or their family.

5. Considering Cultural and Religious Sensitivities

Different cultures and religions have varying customs regarding funeral flowers. For example:

• In some Asian cultures, white flowers are associated with mourning, while red symbolizes happiness and is avoided.
• Jewish funerals often discourage flowers, focusing instead on charitable donations.
• In Hindu traditions, marigolds are commonly used due to their vibrant color and spiritual significance.

The Symbolism of Flowers in Funerals

1. Roses: The Emblem of Eternal Sleep

Roses are perhaps the most iconic funeral flower, often associated with love, beauty, and the ephemeral nature of life. The connection between roses and eternal sleep can be traced back to ancient mythology and literature. In Greek mythology, roses were linked to Aphrodite, the goddess of love, and were said to have grown from her tears. This association with love and loss makes roses a poignant choice for funerals.

The color of the rose also carries specific meanings:

• White Roses: Symbolize purity, innocence, and reverence.
• Red Roses: Represent love and respect, often used to honor a spouse or partner.
• Pink Roses: Convey grace and gratitude, suitable for friends or acquaintances.
• Yellow Roses: While typically associated with friendship, they can also signify remembrance.

2. Lilies: The Flower of the Afterlife

Lilies, particularly white ones, are a staple in funeral arrangements. Their pure, serene appearance symbolizes the restored innocence of the soul in the afterlife. In Christian traditions, lilies are often associated with the Virgin Mary and the resurrection of Christ, making them a fitting choice for religious services.

3. Carnations: A Symbol of Eternal Love

Carnations are another popular choice for funeral flowers. Their long-lasting nature symbolizes enduring love and remembrance. Red carnations are often used to honor a loved one, while white carnations represent pure love and innocence.

4. Chrysanthemums: The Flower of Death

In many European countries, chrysanthemums are exclusively used for funerals and are often referred to as the “flower of death.” Their association with mourning stems from their use in graveside decorations during All Saints’ Day and All Souls’ Day.

The Cultural Significance of Funeral Flowers

1. A Universal Language of Grief

Flowers have long been a universal language for expressing emotions that words cannot capture. In the context of funerals, they serve as a tangible representation of love, respect, and sympathy. The act of sending flowers is a way to participate in the mourning process, even if you cannot be physically present.

2. A Connection to Nature

Flowers remind us of the cyclical nature of life and death. Just as flowers bloom and wither, so too do human lives follow a natural progression. This connection to nature provides comfort, suggesting that death is not an end but a transition.

3. A Historical Tradition

The practice of using flowers in funerals dates back thousands of years. Ancient Egyptians adorned tombs with flowers to honor the deceased and guide their souls to the afterlife. Similarly, the Romans used flowers to mask the scent of decay during public viewings. Over time, this tradition evolved into the modern custom of sending funeral flowers.

Why Do We Associate Roses with Eternal Sleep?

The association between roses and eternal sleep is deeply rooted in literature, art, and mythology. In Shakespeare’s plays, roses often symbolize the fleeting nature of life. In “Hamlet,” Ophelia’s garland of roses represents her innocence and untimely death. Similarly, in the Victorian language of flowers, roses were used to convey messages of love, loss, and remembrance.

The idea of eternal sleep is also tied to the rose’s delicate beauty and short lifespan. Just as a rose blooms briefly before wilting, human life is transient. This metaphor underscores the fragility of existence and the inevitability of death, making roses a fitting symbol for funerals.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. Can I send flowers to a funeral if I can’t attend?

Yes, sending flowers is a thoughtful way to express your condolences, even if you cannot be present. Be sure to include a sympathy card with a personal message.

2. What flowers are inappropriate for a funeral?

Bright, festive flowers like sunflowers or daisies may be considered inappropriate for somber occasions. It’s best to stick with traditional funeral flowers like lilies, roses, or chrysanthemums.

3. How much should I spend on funeral flowers?

The cost of funeral flowers varies depending on the arrangement and florist. A simple bouquet may cost around $50, while larger arrangements like wreaths or sprays can range from $100 to $300.

4. Can I send flowers to a cremation service?

Yes, flowers are appropriate for cremation services. However, some families may prefer donations to a charity in lieu of flowers, so it’s always best to check with the family or funeral home.

5. What should I write in a sympathy card?

Keep your message brief and heartfelt. Examples include:

• “My deepest condolences for your loss.”
• “Thinking of you during this difficult time.”
• “May the memories of [Name] bring you comfort.”

Sending flowers to a funeral is more than a gesture; it is a profound expression of empathy and respect. Whether you choose roses, lilies, or carnations, each bloom carries a message of love and remembrance, offering solace to those left behind. In the delicate petals of a flower, we find a timeless connection to the cycle of life and death, a reminder that even in grief, beauty endures.